


Close Your Eyes and Think of Me

by bluemermaid



Category: Rebecca - Daphne du Maurier
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-22
Updated: 2014-09-22
Packaged: 2018-02-18 08:35:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2341934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluemermaid/pseuds/bluemermaid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mrs. Danvers looked upon Rebecca, and she saw love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Close Your Eyes and Think of Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [etoilecourageuse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/etoilecourageuse/gifts).



> This work is labeled gen but does perhaps have hints of f/f, if you read it that way.
> 
> Written for my dear friend Avi <33333

The girl already looked like a woman, poised and confident, with no sense of innocence about her. The girl knew things already, she'd been through the troubles of life and had clearly decided that they were no match for her. She radiated strength and knowledge, the cunning ability to conquer whatever was facing her and win anything she wanted.

Mrs. Danvers looked upon Rebecca for the first time and saw not a challenging little terror who had run her previous caretakers out the door within days. Mrs. Danvers looked upon Rebecca and saw a treasure, saw a companion, saw a girl with the ferocity of spirit that Danny herself had always imagined herself to have, or had at least wanted. Mrs. Danvers looked upon Rebecca, and she saw love.

Rebecca tried at first to conquer her, of course, for she was not satisfied until she had bent everyone around her to her will. It was subtle, though, for she did not want to appear wanting, did not want to appear to have to need anyone in her life. Mrs. Danvers chose Rebecca's outfits and meals and accompanied her to her lessons, but Rebecca rebelled against them all, tossing the choices aside for her own perferences, and running far out into the fields the moment she and Danny walked out the door.

"I do what I want, Danny," Rebecca said loudly, tossing her head back with laughter. Mrs. Danvers had never been called Danny before, but she quickly grew fond of the nickname, for it was the first sign of Rebecca's love for her.

It would have been impossible for anyone else to see how Rebecca loved her Danny, with all her moments of cruel derision and laughter, of doing the exact opposite of what Mrs. Danvers would ask her to do. But Danny saw it as a test, as a way of proving her worth to the girl. If Rebecca tormented Danny and Danny kept her cool, kept her strength, compromised with the young one and showed how trustworthy she could be, then they would be equals, and Rebecca would allow her to remain in her life. And the way she spoke the name "Danny" would be filled with mixed emotions, the desire for independence melting into the affection she found for the caretaker that had finally matched her spirit.

And so they grew older together, Danny finding more and more wrinkles pressing into her skin, but at the same time a more youthful fire growing in her heart, as she watched her precious Rebecca blossom into a woman. Rebecca grew more beautiful by the day, and stronger too, if such a thing were possible. Rebecca was queen of her own little universe and she knew it, she reveled in it, she scorned all those who were left beneath her, except for her Danny. Rebecca would always confide everything to her Danny, would shower her with affection, however cleverly she hid it behind her cold facade.

"The world is full of fools, Danny," Rebecca said, sitting before her mirror, smiling at her perfection as Danny carefully brushed her luxurious hair. "Every man I've ever met is a fool. They disgust me, every one of them. Nothing but sex on their minds and not a care for true power. The way they look at me! It's delightfully amusing. Of course I enjoy sex, too. But I'm above all that weakness. I don't need it like they do. I need only myself and nothing more."

She spoke so frankly, of topics that would make any other young woman blush furiously. But Rebecca had no need for propriety, and she had no need for secrets from her beloved Danny, her only true friend. Mrs. Danvers went to bed with Rebecca's words resonating in her mind, that mischevious, sensuous voice speaking of sex and intimacy. Rebecca thought men foolish and useless and disgusting; she slept with them merely for the laughter that came after, so she could look upon them in their moments of weakness and feel the triumph of not needing what they offered her. Rebecca loathed men.

Rebecca was beautiful and so full of life, so thrilled by the lure of power and beauty and the admiration of others, and she enjoyed sex but not the people she shared it with; not the men. Mrs. Danvers went to bed with her Rebecca whispering softly to her, though it be only in her mind. "Danny, my dearest Danny." Rebecca did not enjoy the men in her life; she loved Danny, only Danny.

Mrs. Danvers did not often sleep when she went to bed; she merely closed her eyes and thought of Rebecca.

And even after she became Mrs. de Winter, Rebecca would not forsake her Danny. Mr. de Winter was her husband and he adored her, of course he did, for who could ever not fall in love with Rebecca? But Rebecca felt no love for him; she loved Manderley, and she loved living there with Danny.

"You're the only one who really understands, aren't you, Danny?" Fluttering her eyelashes, tossing her shining hair over her shoulder, touching Danny's hand with that devilish grin. "Go now, and have the servants start the dinner. You know exactly how I prefer it."

"Of course I do, my lady," and Danny's heart burst with pride just to look at her, just to touch that fierce beauty, just to serve her every whim. Rebecca would present herself to the world as Mrs. de Winter and she would own that title, but in her true heart of hearts she would belong to no one, she would be nothing but Rebecca, and she would love no one but her Danny.

Mrs. Danvers often wondered what it might have been like had Rebecca been born a boy. It would suit her temperament, the ferocity and cunning, the ability to crave the world and succeed so completely in obtaining it. It would suit Mrs. Danvers, too, perhaps, to love a man as devotedly as she loved Rebecca. It would not be so strange to feel for a man the way Danny felt for her lady. But if Rebecca had been a man, what then? She would not rely so on her old caretaker.

Rebecca the man would not touch Danny, would not so gently caress her cheek before she went to bed, would not laugh so girlishly behind closed doors, her voice so light and airy, delightfully beautiful to hear. And Rebecca the man would not tug so on Danny's heart, would not make her yearn so strongly to be beside her lady for every day she lived. Because Rebecca the woman was both feminine and masculine, was both strong and delicate, was everything that any person should ever wish to be, and was all that Mrs. Danvers could have ever wanted to stand beside.

Rebecca felt that, too. She smiled at Mr. de Winter and it was a smile of victory, not one of love. She only smiled at Danny with love. "We've made quite a pair for all these years, haven't we?" Rebecca asked, and Danny would agree quite heartily.

She would tell her Danny anything and everything, and there would be no secrets, there would be no holding back the ferocious waves of power and delight, Rebecca's strength and beauty radiating outward with every movement, every syllable, every action she took. Rebecca's affection, the only affection she had ever felt for another human being, would surround Danny like a shield, would draw her into that world of power, would thrill her pounding heart, and Rebecca would relish the knowledge that she could have such a devoted partner by her side, a woman who could give her the things which no man could even attempt to provide.

Yes, they would share everything, as their souls had become intertwined over their years together, and Danny would never have a full night's sleep again, drawn to her lady's bedside, drawn to her desire. Danny would watch over her Rebecca, and they would share one heart.

Nothing could strike down the true Mrs. de Winter, the force of nature which ripped through everything the world could throw at her. Nothing could kill Rebecca, and if it could then surely Mrs. Danvers would know about it, she would have Rebecca's confidence, and she could stop it before it claimed its victim.

No, Mrs. Danvers would never have a full night's sleep again, for she could not bear the loss of her Rebecca, and she would not dare to miss the moment when her lady returned to her. For they shared one heart and one soul, and it was impossible for Mrs. de Winter to disappear without her Danny by her side. Rebecca would have told her if there had been something wrong, she would have said goodbye if she'd been leaving; she would have taken Danny's face in her hands and kissed her, kissed her as fiercely as she kissed any man, but this time with a true passion beneath it.

Rebecca de Winter could not die; even if the world tried to kill her, Danny's dear lady would laugh at the attempt, and she would fight it to the end. She would fight it, and she would come back for her Danny.

And so Mrs. Danvers did not sleep. She merely closed her eyes and thought of Rebecca.


End file.
